A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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