I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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