he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I got her a Nickelback box set.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
