you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
