So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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