Sry I called you an 8
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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