I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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