whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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