If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
