Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
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