so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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