You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
