i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
