tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
