theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
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