if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
