so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
