So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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