if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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