I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
