What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
