you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
