The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How drunk are you?
Completed.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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