I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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