Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
