I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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