I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
