She's JV to your varsity
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You're a waste of cheezeits
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
