this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
