It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
