I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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