i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
