dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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