if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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