And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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