i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
