I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
