Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
