i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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