eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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