well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
