i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
