Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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