She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
