i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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