Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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