glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
