I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
