Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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