Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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