Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
